NO UNTRUTH UNTOLD ™

EXCLUSIVE

ALEAD TRUMPETER who toured with well-known bands throughout the United States and Europe has decided to apologize to thousands of women in a new book. It wasn’t the usual tell-all book a major book publisher was expecting. He said, “I know, it’s a shame. I slept with as many women as I possibly could while on the road with the groups.”  

“It’s full of regrets,” said a spokeswoman on behalf of the publisher.  

Being a sex icon of the horn section, this can happen quite easily, the player said.  

“I became a vegetarian, practiced yoga, even gave up laughing for a bit, but nothing toned down the interest and the groupies were everywhere,” said the high-note man.  

Having so much sex – sometimes bedding as many as three women a day – is commonly believed to have been merely a substitute for a mother’s love, said a noted psychologist.  

“Oh, that wasn’t the case at all. I was totally in it for the chicks and the high notes. But mostly the chicks,” said the player.  

Clearly a case of shallow mouthpieces and shallow morals was the affliction of this lad.  

Using his seductive powers of high notes, along with a relaxed sound and intense vibrato, he bedded countless women along the journey in town after town. Turning on the exciting charm of his horn night after night, it was not unlike a siren drawing women to him.  

“When I returned to my dressing room after the show, they were waiting for me. There was no escaping them, but I want everyone to know I accept full responsibility,” he said.  

In a back-of-an-envelope calculation, he estimates he slept with roughly 3,000 women.  

“It’s a shame, and I will work to live with no regrets, except this one. To women everywhere…” he said as a small tear began to stream from the corner of his eye, “I’m deeply sorry that I wasn’t able to get to all of you.”  

Adding, “Gimme a break, I’m only one man!”  

All you need - to do is go to the source.  

All you need - to do is set the right mood.  

All you need – is love.