May 26 2011

Trombonist Switches Major to Farmville


ATROMBONE major recently decided that after investing countless hours on Facebook playing Farmville, he wanted something to show for all his efforts. He switched from being a trombone music major to majoring in Farmville, a new field of study offered by the college.  

“I’ve even dropped my minor in math so I could focus exclusively on my new major,” the university student said cheerfully.  

He related a tiny bit of family history which could explain his impulsive change in careers.  

Years ago, his father was searching for the best auto insurance rates. He spent so much time reading policies, talking with insurance agents, watching TV ads and studying online articles that, after selecting the holy grail of policies, he concluded he needed to account for all this wasted time. So dear old Dad declared to the family one night over dinner, “I’ve invested so much in learning about this insurance stuff, I might as well sell this crap!” and he quit his job as a gondolier to become an insurance agent for a company with an annoying iconic talking mascot. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree when it comes to making sudden drastic changes in a person’s choice of a livelihood.  

A college Dean stated that this was the sign of times to come in University programs.  

“After a vote at a local pub with most of the faculty on hand, it was officially decided to remove some of the less-popular courses from the curriculum in favor of those with more popular themes among young people such as Farmville,” said the Dean as he adjusted his tweed jacket and pipe.  

A professor, resting comfortable in his office wearing slippers, added, “We decided to make way for a Farmville major by reducing clutter in the program like math courses and physics. I mean, physics with the whole Big Bang Theory and all that, it’s been talked about to death and no one wants hear about it anymore. We are just so over talking about the Big Bang Theory. And it was so long ago, today’s student body simply can’t relate to it.” As for most of the history courses, the consensus among the group was that they are yesterday’s news and often don’t have a happy ending.  

“We have to consider the attention span of most students as we compete with movies and reality TV shows,” said the jazz professor, who suddenly began some exotic hand-clapping rhythm as he became totally distracted watching the cheerleaders rehearse outside his office window.  

When the reality sets in of the apparent uselessness of spending hours acquiring a skill for which society has no purpose – coupled with insurmountable student loans – the question becomes: how can a college degree in Farmville be used to earn a living?  

The college Dean is quick to answer, “That’s simple. A graduate with a degree in Farmville can get a job teaching!”  

When asked what college courses it qualifies one to teach, he said, “A wide selection of them: Introduction to Farmville, Intermediate Farmville, Independent Farmville Field Study, and Advanced Agricultural Methods of Farmville. Someone has to educate the over 45 million monthly active users of Farmville.”  

“See?” quite confidently said the former trombone major.  

Save – on modern tuition costs.  

Save – your ducats.  

Save – yourself by paying your dues now.  

Bugged by Farmville? Go to the wall with your comments.  

  1. brassinformant posted this